The Ties That Bind

During the past year or so, I've been exploring the nature of family relationships - the ties that bind. Discovering that within a family unit, there are some who step forward and some who step back, and some are forced back, and some cannot get their glow on...hidden in the shadow of a blazing star.
Is the quiet one less special?
Can someone really be too sensitive?
Does the loudest voice always win?
What happens when one person values justice over attention?
Does letting another take the spotlight diminish one's own importance?
Can one family handle more than one narcissist, more than one diva, more than one enormous talent? Who's turn is it on the stage?
Ah...The ties that bind.
This year, more than any other, we learned about duty, about love, about illness, about death. About fear & bravery, about humor & pain, about nobility and adversity. The roles we play within our families change - dutiful child becomes dutiful parent, caring sibling becomes care-giver, we must stretch, do things we never dreamed of doing, suffer horrendous loss, look to the future and find ways to lean upon each other.
We learned about each other and what meaning, what values rule our lives. We surprised each other.

Today I finished a portrait of two women. Sisters, perhaps. Together for a portrait, yet very removed from one another.

Is one stepping forward? Is one stepping back? Is the one in the background really duller? Or is she allowing her sister her moment in the spotlight. Are they posing? Are they happy in their roles? You'll need to discover the answer.
Ribbons of color weave in front, through and behind them. They hold them together, and keep them apart. In their moment, they don't even notice them.

Like all of us, we have ties that bind, ties that hold us beyond our control - through all of life's experiences. Like it or not, the ribbons flow around and between us - through our pasts, the present and the future.

Where do your ribbons go? Do they flow freely or hold too tight? What have you learned about your family this year? No matter your feelings about your family members, the ties that bind will last your lifetime.

The Journal in my Head

I've read that artists, designers & craftspeople keep journals: filled with inspiration from travel, gallery visits, etc. They're filled with sketches, swatches, tear sheets, photos... all for future use. I keep one too, but it's in my head.

I have a "thing" [call it a phenomenon, a condition, a talent or a quirk] called Eidetic Imagery. Here's the Wiki definition. Anyway, almost anything I see, that really makes an impression or resonates on some level, goes into that mental filing cabinet for future use. I can actually physically recall images from the past - a face, a place, a set of tiles, a painting... a movie... and see it in the air, as if there is a projector in my head, using my eyes as the lens... an invisible screen at my disposal is within 15 inches of my face.

I often stammer for words - just can't remember the right one...and please don't ask me what year something happened [other than birth of child or year of wedding] or what I had for lunch two days ago...or what I walked in here for... but images, they're always there for reference.

Another thing - my 8th grade science teacher told our class not to study - that we should "rely on our ability to recall," which I might have taken a little too much to heart - not knowing yet about Eidetic Imagery. I remember things that happened in that classroom [Hi, Gaelyn], but I would say, that's not the best advice for teenagers more interested in drawing daisies on their hand during science class.

So, my journal - my head - is filled with images of the classic works of art - from art museums and books, not to mention photos from magazines, charts, maps, comic strips, ruins in Ephesus, people I know, couture collections, my room in Reading, PA, my dorm room in Oneonta, my room on a Kibbutz in Israel, a pair of shoes I bought in Italy when I was 18, a pair of shoes I wore in that 8th grade classroom, the shoes I wore to my high school reunion, jewelry, paperweights, and the image of my husband the first time I saw him in a swimsuit [think Vitruvian Man]... you get the picture [!]... all jumbled and/or filed. And, all available for use.

I usually don't watch a movie more than once, I can see it any time I want. I actually watched "District 9" again the other day, it's so filled with images...but I really liked the story. I could watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" another 35 times... but that's just for laughs. I try not to watch scary movies, because the image stays with me forever.

Disclaimer: I do have a few photos taped up in the studio, but I rarely refer to them. I also have a drawer full of photos that might be a jumping off point someday. I do have a shelf full of books - art books, Dover books, reference books...about costume, medieval design, beaded flowers... all kinds of stuff. And, a lot of music to listen to when I'm working.

When I fill a canvas with thousands of images, photos, words... it all makes sense to me, I could point at my head and tell you "You should see what it looks like in here."